Who am I today?

September 6, 2010
Who am I today?

Not much has changed since last year as far as who I am and yet in some ways I change every day. Many people I know spent the high school years partying with alcohol and maybe some pot and having sex. For many the way to have fun is still to drink, smoke pot, pig out, and have sex. They are the same now as in high school. It seems a lot of them sadly have drank themselves into early graves.

The ones that went to college probably did the drinking and having sex too in greater degree. What the ones who didn’t go to college don’t know is that what they did in high school is pale compared to what the rest of us did in college. We all went through some sort of rights of passage just at different stages. We sowed our wild oats too.

Others had fun in other ways in high school – skipping class, doing somewhat stupid things, rebelling against authority in some way from breaking simple rules to breaking the law. The fun was in taking the risk, doing something daring. It was another expression of self-hood, another right of passage.

Unfortunately some of those who always followed the rules and always did what their parents told them may have passed away already at young ages. They never broke free of the invisible limitations that they grew up with. They never discovered their true self and lived. They died of broken hearts.

Some had inner peace when they were children and just seemed to be born knowing how to be happy. Those are the ones at the high school reunions that look like they are 18 while the rest of us look our age. They just always knew something that the rest of us have spent our adult lives trying to figure out.

And then others did the party thing for a while but have returned to their conservative upbringings – not drinking or doing drugs, not fooling around, and going to a church that fits their lives now whether it was the childhood church or perhaps they have ventured out so far as to change religions even though they approach them the same way their parents did the old church.

Who is Katherine Wheelus Dannels then? Well, I had my wild times when I was in college. I continued after college living the single life and ventured out across country to Sarasota, FL. I did my drinking at OU and some the first few years in Florida but gradually decided that I didn’t need alcohol to have fun. Even wine gives me an instant stomachache and sends me to the bathroom.

I explored many spiritual thoughts and ideas. I was a probation counselor for teens for a few years and then decided to go back to school to get a Master’s degree. Then I met my now husband and when I moved to Georgia, he followed. A few months later we married – almost 31 years ago.

There have been many divorces and remarrying in my high school class. There have been many very successful classmates. Many are busy with full lives and don’t communicate with the rest of the class. Others have stayed married but there have been infidelities and almost divorces. Others of us have struggled financially. We have all had our challenges.

NONE of the past shenanigans matters in the greater picture of life. The person I was in high school was very critical and judgmental. Many classmates know how my mom could be and I came by it naturally. But many others know the gentle loving man my father was. He had simple tastes and interests but his general philosophy was to live his own life and not look for negatives about others. If he made a comment about someone that seemed critical it was more of an observation, just a comment and not being mean. You could disagree with him and he wouldn’t get offended. He didn’t try to force others to have the same opinion as him.

My philosophy is to find the good in every situation. If it is challenging I see what I can learn from it. I believe where thought goes energy flows and that all thought is creative. I work on my thoughts all the time especially when my husband is being a typical Gemini. I enjoy walking in nature for fun and talking with one or two friends. I like to be around other like-minded people that want to enjoy life. I also like to be alone and quiet – a lot! I tend to shy away from people that complain, find things to criticize, and want to project their beliefs on the world. Now I am not immune to getting on my soapbox about certain things. I think life is to be enjoyed and that what we eat and think contributes to the way life is. Eating a standard American diet shortens life and ends up making a person dependent on medicines just to live, much less live happily.

If we are bitching all the time, we are putting energy into the things we are complaining about. I’d rather create beauty. I don’t do well with people who have nothing to do but hate and find fault, complain, and gossip. A wise young mother of ten said, “Have ten kids and you won’t have time to gossip.” I didn’t have to have that many children to find life is too short to waste it putting others down and judging them when I don’t know anything about their lives, or even if I do. Who am I to proclaim I KNOW how they should live their lives. I also know and believe that if there is something about someone else that is “pushing my buttons” I am projecting my own issues out and I need to go look in the mirror.

Whatever works for another person is all that matters. We are all doing the best we can to make it in the world. Life is beautiful one step at a time.