Remembering Thanksgiving – Old AND NEW Traditions

I was home alone for Thanksgiving this year. I sat down at the piano, played the favorite hymns of Daddy, Mother, and Doug, and I cried. I remembered Thanksgiving always at Grandmother’s house and someone always had to go get Mrs. Idy. The women cooked all morning (and several days before) and then collapsed after the meal. The children had to lie down and got spankings if we weren’t quiet. When we finally got old enough to be outside unattended, we were allowed to get up and go out to play, weather permitting, after an hour of lying down.

The food sat out on the table mostly uncovered except the Jell-O salads and maybe the desserts. It’s a wonder we didn’t get food poisoning. Later we came back and picked around at the food. Sometimes we all had to sit down together for supper. After an unwritten length of time, we would pack up and go home – five miles away. It wasn’t like they had anything new to talk about. They saw each other several times a week.

There weren’t any toys so we grandkids had to make up games. I don’t remember any time that was particularly fun – mostly bickering that would evolve into fights. Then the adults would have to come separate us and give someone or all whippings.

Grandmother was diabetic in her later years. Dr. Waters knew she would “just a little taste” herself into too much and so he always upped her insulin for the holidays. There would be turkey with dressing, canned cranberry sauce and whole berry made from scratch, corn bread and biscuits, a ham and candied sweet potatoes and some orange pecan sweet potatoes. There would be some mostly iceberg lettuce with Thousand Island dressing. Sometimes there would be cold slaw, sauerkraut, and boiled cabbage. No, greens were not a popular fall thing in Oklahoma. There would be green beans, green bean casserole, and corn from the garden both on the cob and creamed corn. There was always a plate of home canned pickles, usually several varieties. There were usually some navy beans and baked beans (like we needed more gas) and certainly some sort of squash something. There may have been some noodle or rice casseroles. Biscuits and cornbread weren’t enough bread. They would add brown and server rolls and white bread. There were mashed potatoes, new potatoes, and canned peas. There sometimes was pea salad, carrot salad, and grape/cranberry salad. The Jell-O salads changed from year to year but someone always made orange Jell-O carrot salad that no one every ate or liked.

Then came the desserts. I remember Mother making an apple pecan cake every year. The banana nut cake got replace with a Scotch chocolate cake with pecan sugary icing. That was replaced with an Italian cocoanut pecan cream cake with cream cheese icing with pecans and cocoanut. Aunt Margie would make a cocoanut cake or chocolate cake or strawberry cake too. Mother wasn’t very good a piecrust but that didn’t stop her from making pies. When frozen crust became available at the stores that made it even easier. She made lemon meringue, chocolate, a really good cocoanut cream, banana cream, and one called Jefferson Davis chess pie. Sometimes she made pecan and pumpkin pies too. There were frequently chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies. Aunt Margie brought many of the same kinds. There was ice cream and whip cream (later cool whip).

One year Grandmother decided to make a pie. The sisters said she made them every year but had stopped when the diabetes came on. It was a butter chess pie – butter, eggs, and sugar. It was decadent – and really good. Mother and Daddy had to hand churn butter when they were growing up. They grew to hate the tasted and smell of butter immensely. They didn’t care for the taste of the butter pie so Grandmother never made it again. I was disappointed but it wasn’t like there wasn’t anything good to replace it.

All you can eat buffets have nothing on a Southern Oklahoma Thanksgiving dinner that shows influence of the tribal potlash ceremonies. There was this Italian Yankee at O.U. who tried to claim his Italian family gathering had an unbeatable spread, but he hadn’t been to one of my family’s holiday dinners. The “potlash” ceremony among farming tribes was a “being” by itself. They were such abundant holiday traditions.

So this year Doug was down in Florida with his family. Azure, Kyler, and Miko have moved away and so has Jeremy. I was going to be alone. Azure sent friends. The first came with a plate of food and the second brought a card and arrived while the first was still here. They left and a while later all of Jeremy’s siblings and girlfriends and cousins came bringing me some of Big Mamas Southern Soul Thanksgiving cooking. As they left another young man arrived. I gave him some pie and found out later that he had stayed home and not had any Thanksgiving dinner. I had a smoked breast and some cranberry sauce and the plate from Jeremy’s grandmother had enough for several meals that I could have shared had I known. I had a wonderful day. I didn’t have to cook but I still had a full dishwasher. I was pleasantly full and tired but so happy.

Thanksgiving memories and traditions – sometimes don’t change, but kids grow up, grandparents and parents pass away. The kids grow up and move away following their own life journey. Sometimes couples have to be apart. It’s sad when you spend Thanksgiving thinking about what was. It is more fun to make new traditions. I didn’t cook for days. I received some Thanksgiving dinner from other families without having too much leftover food along with dirty dishes, pots, and pans. I had a wonderful day. And next year? Well, we will see. It will be filled with some more New Traditions!