It is the end of August and in a way, the end of the summer. It has been one of ups and downs, rain and very hot weather. There have been joys - seeing and spending time with my oldest son last week and my daughter the end of June. We built a natural swimming pool/pond and did very well. Then the hot weather hit and there wasn't much landscaping going on. We took some time off to visit my mother-in-law for her birthday and my father-in-law's birthday, Aug 20 and Aug 18 - 2 Leos that like to be the center of attention even at 80 and 82. It's no wonder they divorced 37 years ago.
Kansas provided nature at its finest with swarms of thousands of dragon flies, butterflies of all colors, grasshoppers flying in your mouth, praying mantises in abundance, cicadas keeping you awake on the warm nights, gold finches, night hawks, and blackbirds, and a parent coyote giving the pups a singing lesson on full moon night. Sunsets were varied and beautiful as usual. We tried to stay up many nights in a row to see the full moon next to Mars - no Venus - no Saturn - no the last official claim was Jupiter. I lost track of which one it actually was. On Thursday night it was supposed to be the biggest. I stayed up. It got to a certain point in the sky and then they started moving across the sky in the same position - it never got close. Then someone said the idea that it was going to be as big as the moon was an Internet hoax. On the other side of the sky Mars, Venus, and Saturn were almost lined up and bigger than Jupiter. But the night sky was full of stars and clarity. We saw something move across the sky several nights in a row that kind of bounced around with one big white light. We have noticed this before in Kansas. It doesn't move like an airplanes and they moved across the sky in opposite directions as the strange light. The airplanes usually have 3 lights, a red, a green and one white - not as big as the bouncy thing. We always end up wondering if our eyes are playing tricks on us when it starts bouncing around.
It was good (sort of) to see the family. The dynamics were the same BS and several people make no effort the have a better idea. In the midst of all of that, as I was able to get online, I found out that a high school classmate had passed away suddenly. He regularly posted on the class website funny stories and was in his own way quite a writer. (See previous post.) Before my trip I learned that my favorite published writer, Ted Andrews had passed away last October. I was very sad at the news of both of these men about my age.
I found myself screaming inside "Life is too short and can end without a warning for all of this childish petty bickering. Yes, all the drama gives you something interesting and different to listen to but find some joy to focus on and some love - if nothing else the beauty of the land!" But it isn't my place to judge or to tell others how to live their lives. I found myself increasingly hiding away in our little vacation like house and riding alone on the red 4-wheeler to the farm. It was fun except when that white pick-up truck would come flying down the dirt road and I would eat limestone gravel dust for five minutes. One day I put on sunblock before I took off for my ride - I had arms that looked like they had a coat of concrete on them after the dust from the trucks.
I am back in Georgia now. My 14 plus year old cat, Autumn just came by for a little holding - she doesn't like holding very often - and her kisses on the top of her head. She gave me some smiles and licked my hand and now she is washing me off of her. But that is Autumn. Zeus and Oden are more affectionate than usual and Precious is her usual hug me self. The dog is still mad at me and not eating yet. She does this for a few days when I leave her - though Buzz stayed here and she wasn't alone. She just has such a good pout when I displease her. When the act doesn't get anywhere she eats all of her food as long as no one is looking.
So life goes on. I choose to see the beauty and enjoy it. I want to make some changes and my husband and I want to produce income in more consistent ways. There are things we want to do and places we want to go. I look at it this way. If life as we know it is going to end in 2012, then let's live it up. Who knows what kind of life we will end up in next time? I choose to believe in moving forward to a new and better idea - right now right this minute. It is all good and all God. There is only One Power and I choose to use it for happiness. Katherine Ari
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
To honor Paul Lewis and thoughts about God
August 26, 2010
Yesterday, August 25, 2010 I turned to my high school class website. I am on a vacation this week in a tiny rural Kansas town where there isn’t much to do except, thanks to my brother-in-law, I can get on the Internet or just fight chigger bites. I had commented on a couple of subjects posted by some former classmates that carry on about local Hugo, Oklahoma stuff and so I went back to see if they had answered me. I scrolled down to see what posts followed my last story to find that two hours earlier one of the most regular posters, Paul Lewis, had died. The day before he was posting pictures and planning the next Hugo ’69 supper club meeting as usual.
I was shocked and saddened and frankly in disbelief. “This can’t be,” I thought as my mind tried to wrap itself around such a sudden announcement.
I didn’t know Paul really in high school. I knew who he was but I doubt if I ever had a conversation with him other than a hello here and there. The class had other reunions but for reasons unknown to me I never knew about them until last year in 2009 when someone found me online. The other classmates say Paul was a big help at the gatherings.
I got to know him on the site. He was really wise and funny. I wrote him that he should get his stories and jokes published. Some were not his own but it didn’t matter. They seemed to come from him. I know I frequently go to the site and I always look to his profile for new posting or at the least look at the profile list to see who has last posted. If Paul had a recent entry I was excited and eagerly went to his to read his latest.
The Message forum regularly had postings by him and Larry Lee and a few others who obviously are good friends, the men holding down the home front, the ones who stayed and kept Hugo their place for their adult lives. Their funny stories and conversations kept all of the Class of 1969 connected. Here is what was going on in Hugo. I felt connected and was a fan of Paul’s humor. He really didn’t know me but I felt I knew him.
He loved his grandchildren and children in general. I can’t imagine going to our website and not reading posts from Paul. It will not be the same. And I know that his close friends are totally at a loss for words. To lose a good friend is not one you prepare yourself for. I have said before death is the pits. It is the one thing that medical science has not figured out a pill to take to make it go away. My son says “death” is the pill itself, the way to experience grief and get through it. There is no easy way and everyone experiences it in their own way. There is no prescription, nothing but time itself to make it better and no matter how much others try to decide how much time we need they can’t. No one knows but me how much and how long it takes to grieve when someone I care about passes away.
And I do feel sad about Paul Lewis. I know his beliefs and mine did not necessarily match much or our lifestyles. Our religious beliefs differed. But as a writer myself I don’t have to sit down and talk in person to know the inner person when I read his writings, his stories, and his anecdotes. He told us a lot about himself on the class site. He shared a lot of love and I am grateful to have known him and his love for his family and friends through his words, his funny stories and jokes. I felt I knew him and that was okay.
We will all miss him and I send my love and prayers to him family and friends.
Page 2
As others have posted on the class site and I am sure more will comment, there are comments about his love of God and that he is now in a better place. I began to think about what I would want said about me if I were to transition to another dimension.
My spiritual beliefs are not traditional and I find myself wanting people with traditional beliefs to understand me. I believe that what works for one person may not work for the next but that there are truths that when the dogma and interpretations are removed, are the same for anyone.
I do not believe in a man God out there in the clouds. I believe that “God” is a Universal force that is responsible for everything in creation. We can agree on that. God is responsible for everything and is everywhere present all the time. I believe that Jesus found a way to completely connect with the Divine power all the time and his teachings say that we can do the same. He was one of us and not separate from us or above us. He promised we could do the same things as him and even greater things than He did.
I believe that this God force is impersonal. It can be used for good or bad but it is all God. There is only Power in the universe and we can use it for good as I think we should or we can use it for things that will hurt others. Do I love God? God is Love. I know love and I know that God is in me all of the time and that I choose to use the God in me to love, always love.
Going to a better place is the idea of heaven after we die. I don’t believe I have to die to get to that better place. I believe heaven is what I create in my life while I am alive. It is joy, peace, fun and enjoying life. I see beauty and love and peace of mind. I want to create these things and that is what I choose to see. It isn’t that I look at life though rose colored glasses and never see the dark side of life. I just choose to find the good in everyone and every situation. I believe the more I focus on joy, on good health, on happiness, on beauty, the more I experience a good place now.
And when I die or pass on, well I believe that the body dies but the Soul which is the part most connected to the Universal Power does not die, can not die, and like God is infinite. I don’t know where God will take me next. I hope if there is karma that by living a life of love that where I go next is a beautiful place but I don’t know. I haven’t gone there yet. All I really can control is how I experience the life I have right now. I choose to believe there are solutions to conflicts. I choose to see love and wonder and growth. I choose my thoughts and my actions. There is a fertile field that is my mind and it is constantly in a state of being ready for a new crop of productive thoughts. I decided some time ago to make every effort I can to control what is planted in the fertile field.
I am grateful to have known a man named Paul Lewis. He made me laugh and feel good. He contributed to my growth and some healing as I soaked up a new and better idea about being from Hugo, Oklahoma and the Class of 1969. I believe he shared his stories unconditionally and that was pretty cool. He felt comfortable telling them and didn’t fear that someone would not accept him. That pretty well says a man who had come to accept himself. It is an example we all can follow and a direction we can strive to accomplish in each of our lives. I am blessed by getting to know him through his writings.
Yesterday, August 25, 2010 I turned to my high school class website. I am on a vacation this week in a tiny rural Kansas town where there isn’t much to do except, thanks to my brother-in-law, I can get on the Internet or just fight chigger bites. I had commented on a couple of subjects posted by some former classmates that carry on about local Hugo, Oklahoma stuff and so I went back to see if they had answered me. I scrolled down to see what posts followed my last story to find that two hours earlier one of the most regular posters, Paul Lewis, had died. The day before he was posting pictures and planning the next Hugo ’69 supper club meeting as usual.
I was shocked and saddened and frankly in disbelief. “This can’t be,” I thought as my mind tried to wrap itself around such a sudden announcement.
I didn’t know Paul really in high school. I knew who he was but I doubt if I ever had a conversation with him other than a hello here and there. The class had other reunions but for reasons unknown to me I never knew about them until last year in 2009 when someone found me online. The other classmates say Paul was a big help at the gatherings.
I got to know him on the site. He was really wise and funny. I wrote him that he should get his stories and jokes published. Some were not his own but it didn’t matter. They seemed to come from him. I know I frequently go to the site and I always look to his profile for new posting or at the least look at the profile list to see who has last posted. If Paul had a recent entry I was excited and eagerly went to his to read his latest.
The Message forum regularly had postings by him and Larry Lee and a few others who obviously are good friends, the men holding down the home front, the ones who stayed and kept Hugo their place for their adult lives. Their funny stories and conversations kept all of the Class of 1969 connected. Here is what was going on in Hugo. I felt connected and was a fan of Paul’s humor. He really didn’t know me but I felt I knew him.
He loved his grandchildren and children in general. I can’t imagine going to our website and not reading posts from Paul. It will not be the same. And I know that his close friends are totally at a loss for words. To lose a good friend is not one you prepare yourself for. I have said before death is the pits. It is the one thing that medical science has not figured out a pill to take to make it go away. My son says “death” is the pill itself, the way to experience grief and get through it. There is no easy way and everyone experiences it in their own way. There is no prescription, nothing but time itself to make it better and no matter how much others try to decide how much time we need they can’t. No one knows but me how much and how long it takes to grieve when someone I care about passes away.
And I do feel sad about Paul Lewis. I know his beliefs and mine did not necessarily match much or our lifestyles. Our religious beliefs differed. But as a writer myself I don’t have to sit down and talk in person to know the inner person when I read his writings, his stories, and his anecdotes. He told us a lot about himself on the class site. He shared a lot of love and I am grateful to have known him and his love for his family and friends through his words, his funny stories and jokes. I felt I knew him and that was okay.
We will all miss him and I send my love and prayers to him family and friends.
Page 2
As others have posted on the class site and I am sure more will comment, there are comments about his love of God and that he is now in a better place. I began to think about what I would want said about me if I were to transition to another dimension.
My spiritual beliefs are not traditional and I find myself wanting people with traditional beliefs to understand me. I believe that what works for one person may not work for the next but that there are truths that when the dogma and interpretations are removed, are the same for anyone.
I do not believe in a man God out there in the clouds. I believe that “God” is a Universal force that is responsible for everything in creation. We can agree on that. God is responsible for everything and is everywhere present all the time. I believe that Jesus found a way to completely connect with the Divine power all the time and his teachings say that we can do the same. He was one of us and not separate from us or above us. He promised we could do the same things as him and even greater things than He did.
I believe that this God force is impersonal. It can be used for good or bad but it is all God. There is only Power in the universe and we can use it for good as I think we should or we can use it for things that will hurt others. Do I love God? God is Love. I know love and I know that God is in me all of the time and that I choose to use the God in me to love, always love.
Going to a better place is the idea of heaven after we die. I don’t believe I have to die to get to that better place. I believe heaven is what I create in my life while I am alive. It is joy, peace, fun and enjoying life. I see beauty and love and peace of mind. I want to create these things and that is what I choose to see. It isn’t that I look at life though rose colored glasses and never see the dark side of life. I just choose to find the good in everyone and every situation. I believe the more I focus on joy, on good health, on happiness, on beauty, the more I experience a good place now.
And when I die or pass on, well I believe that the body dies but the Soul which is the part most connected to the Universal Power does not die, can not die, and like God is infinite. I don’t know where God will take me next. I hope if there is karma that by living a life of love that where I go next is a beautiful place but I don’t know. I haven’t gone there yet. All I really can control is how I experience the life I have right now. I choose to believe there are solutions to conflicts. I choose to see love and wonder and growth. I choose my thoughts and my actions. There is a fertile field that is my mind and it is constantly in a state of being ready for a new crop of productive thoughts. I decided some time ago to make every effort I can to control what is planted in the fertile field.
I am grateful to have known a man named Paul Lewis. He made me laugh and feel good. He contributed to my growth and some healing as I soaked up a new and better idea about being from Hugo, Oklahoma and the Class of 1969. I believe he shared his stories unconditionally and that was pretty cool. He felt comfortable telling them and didn’t fear that someone would not accept him. That pretty well says a man who had come to accept himself. It is an example we all can follow and a direction we can strive to accomplish in each of our lives. I am blessed by getting to know him through his writings.
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