RANDOM THOUGHTS AND LESSONS FOR TODAY by Katherine Ari

RANDOM THOUGHTS AND LESSONS FOR TODAY

Today is Wednesday, October 28, 2009 and I have not blogged since Oct. 15. The reason is Life got in the way – We had some pond improvement work. It was a challenging job and the customer seemed to be expecting us to rip him off or not do what we promised. By the time we finished, Doug and I had worked for little more than minimum wage. Something we usually find to be rewarding work became tiresome and dreaded. But it is my policy to look for the good in everything and for what was learned.

I learned that no matter how much someone likes to go on verbal word that you need to have things in writing and with lots of details. No matter how much you need some work and income, make sure there is a written lists of exactly what is expected. Inform customers of your company policies and maybe why you have them. Every time we have cut corners to please the client, we have regretted it. People get confused. They think they have said everything that is on their mind but that is not always the case. If you have it in writing, then they can look over the list and add on BEFORE you begin. If they want more, write it all down and just what is involved in their requests.

There is no doubt that as we “mature” our brains get filled up. I won’t say Senior Moments but that we just have minds full of lots of facts and figures. Sometimes things get pushed to the back of the pile. The next thing you know you are doing a lot of things that are not included in the bid. We don’t like to add on to estimates and I usually estimate a little high to account for unexpected issues. When you work with nature, it is really hard to predict just how long it will take to do something. People who are used to working with manmade materials and supplies don’t always understand that part of a job.

It all made us realize that we need a better idea about how to produce income. I want to work one on one with people seeking to improve their lives. I love people and seeing them unfold in their own empowerment. I have a wonderful office in our garden and no matter how much Doug complains about all the work, he really enjoys using his restlessness or hyperactivity to work on our garden. It is NOT about getting money but working doing the things I love most.

I also love writing – not just these blogs but writing my stories. I love painting. While we were finishing the pond job, the local Cultural Arts Center representative called to ask the Dannels family to produce an art show sometime next year, maybe April. Kyler, my son, and Doug, my husband, were in their National Juried Show last year and Kyler won the trustee award. My other children and my mother-in-law are also artists. We will put our best work together to show in the spring. Kyler also encourages his dad to put together his sculpture in bodies of work to present to galleries in Santa Fe. It is time for Doug Dannels to do what he really loves most – claim his incredible art and let the world see it.

I know we did a good job this week. I know that we did more than what we were paid for and that is okay. The customer seemed to be expecting to get ripped off and didn’t trust us but we did everything we thought he wanted with limited materials. It’s all good!

Racism - Jesus was NOT a White Man

Racism – Jesus wasn’t a White Man
October 14, 2009
Katherine Ari

I grew up in a traditional Baptist home in a small town in Oklahoma. For the most part, the Choctaws and other native people were respected but people of African descent were treated unfairly and a few other words much worse.

We sang, “Jesus loves the little children of the world. Red and yellow, Black and white, they are precious in His Sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.” I believed that and when my love extended to the African American fellow students, my mother and dad got upset. I felt I knew Jesus, that I had a personal relationship with Jesus. I believed then and I believe now that if he walked among us he would be loving to everyone.

The idea of being unkind and hating someone because they have skin that is a different color or different hair or different anything is absurd to me. To hate someone whose ancestors came from a different country is even more ridiculous because Americans ALL came from different countries and continents.

The fact that this intolerance is carried on in churches, in people who act all religious, righteous, and pious while practicing racism or other intolerance, like towards gays, toward anyone different with different beliefs is incomprehensible. Jesus would not do that. A friend once said you could take the Bible out of many churches and they wouldn’t know it was gone. Jesus would not preach hatred and bigotry. Jesus would love everyone. Jesus is humble and kind. If someone walked in and said he was Jesus and then acted angry and hateful, he would be kicked out of the church as a pretender.

I do not believe I am better than anyone else. It seems so many fundamental groups and individuals need someone to hate, someone to judge, someone they think is not as good as them.

No one has my skin color, my hair, eyes, lips, and genetics. All humans have blood, bones, muscles, and similar parts but there is one thing we all have in common. Everyone wants love. Loves takes many forms. We desire it. We seek it. When we feel it, we know it. Real Love is the same for everyone – even atheist. They may not believe in a man-God out in the sky, but they believe in Love. This One Power, Love, is God. And if Jesus is the son of Love and we are the sons and daughters of Love, then we must Love. If you hate, you are not living God or Jesus in your life. People who feel insecure in their own lives look for someone to put down. “Well, at least I’m smarter or prettier or something better than that person, that kind of person.” If Jesus were standing before me right now, he would love me. He would love my neighbors, black or white or Mexican or Gay – everyone. “What would Jesus do?” What would Love do? - Love. Remember, if you are really honest, Jesus was not a White Man. If you turn your back on dark skin, you may be turning away from him.

Wrinkles are Magnificent

Wrinkles Are Magnificent by Katherine Ari, September 30, 2009

It’s still so unbelievable Michael Jackson died even though I feel I understand why. He hated aging – I hear that – but when you don’t get to the point of accepting where you are now and loving where you are, you just don’t live. The media does more to foster eating disorders and premature deaths than people realize. Aging gracefully – rather than beautifully – is the catch phrase. Wrinkles, age spots, gray hair or no hair, and weight redistribution are considered unattractive. Certainly, they are rather annoying. But an old tree or a huge old rock are magnificent because they have endured. The bigger the tree the older it is. It is honored. Why then can’t humans be honored for their ability to endure as they age rather than shunned and put down. Our priorities are mixed up. And as we age, we get caught up in the imbalance as well. We get discouraged and frustrated that our bodies, our faces, and abilities are not what they were when we were young. No one else seems to believe we have more now than in the past.

The old oak is stronger and gives more to the environment. We do too. We are the “rocks” of society. We have stories to tell. Our age characteristics are like the layers of bark on a tree or sediment on a rock. The whole of who we are and what we know lies inside. A tree or a big ancient rock has much to tell us if we listen. So too do the elder humans. But the trees stand in their place, quietly storing more layers, more stories, more history, more wisdom. If someone comes along and asks them, they will share – if the seeker listens with their heart. And we humans will share also. We know things. As my husband Doug Dannels said in a video about his sculptures of old people’s faces, “The wrinkles are marks of our experiences.” They are good things. They are beautiful.

If I were standing near MJ when he said aging sign were ugly, I would have taken him outside to my own garden. “Look at this oak tree and look at this small pecan seedling. Which is more beautiful, more magnificent, more important for the earth?” Would anyone choose the seedling? No, I think not. Everything in nature is connected. Everything has a season and increases in importance as age increases. Humans should become more valuable as they age – not less valuable.

I suppose a stag deer that lives beyond the normal age in the wild might be tough to eat. An observant hunter would see its maturity. He might still pull the trigger for the prize of the beauty of its antlers but not because the meat is desirable. But do we want to be eaten and mounted on someone’s wall as a trophy? If the buck has dropped his antlers and the hunter recognizes his age, he won’t shoot him even if it is still in hunting season – but most of the time when antlers have dropped it is NOT hunting season.

On the PBS series about the history of the National Parks, people came in and started cutting down the ancient Sequoias. Through the efforts of John Muir and others, they are protected. Signs of age in a tree, a giant rock, or a human are notices in big letters – Behold, mature age. Stop. Listen. They have so much to give and are beautiful. They are wise and contribute so much to the strength, stability, and health of the earth. Honor them. Respect them. Marvel at what they have endured and accomplished and be proud they have blessed you with their magnificent presence in your life!

Mistakes and Moving Forward

MISTAKES and Moving Forward

Everyone makes mistakes. That is called being human. Many things others do are regarded as mistakes when there is just lack of understanding. Unless any of us are as famous as Michael Jackson, no one can know what his life was like. I remember a person once that told my parents all sorts of things about me that were nonsense because the person did not understand what we were doing.

People read things that are assumptions by a reporter in the newspapers or magazines and then gossip about what they read – not knowing the whole story and what really happened. They tell others and they tell others and each time the story is repeated, it changes – we all like to tell a good story. Do we all remember playing the game of Gossip when we were kids? The end story was always different .

The story may have been years ago but these talkers keep talking about what they think they know wanting to sound important not thinking how their words are hurting others and in turn hurting them. But these are mistakes also and we all make mistakes.

I think about some times when I lost it, or had a meltdown. I don’t like myself very much for being so over the top. Of course, in a heated argument we justify our behaviors and say that the unkind things we said or did were justified or provoked. But is it ever okay to spew hurtful words or do anything to invade the space of another being? [It doesn’t have to be another person as it could be a pet or even a plant.]

We are tired or stressed out. We don’t think clearly and do something unkind or inconsiderate. Sometimes, the act is so bad that the consequences are major, even life changing. But life goes on and one has to move on. It isn’t easy to forgive yourself and then there are those pesky gossips that just won’t let it be in the past. I want to yell at them – let the PAST go people – see me or see us as we are now and see how much I have changed. I know I have grown. I know what I did wrong and I am committed to not repeating those errors again. But if I bring up the past trying to get them to let it go, then I am guilty of living in the past. I am whole, perfect, and complete and I live in the now with love. I learned from my mistakes and grow. Today I am loving and kind and artistic. I move on!

Believe in Yourself and Believe in Others

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN OTHERS
by Katherine Ari July 12, 2009

My children are ages 21 to 27. I work with teenagers at my spiritual center. Because of this I have many teens and young adults in and out of my home and my life all the time. I love it. I love seeing them as they unfold their talents and futures as the next adults running the world. They have so much knowledge, talents, and new perceptions.

It is sad when other adults discount the youth. They see them doing things that are “weird” or wearing strange clothes and bucking the established system. But it has always been a natural thing for the next generation to do things differently. They get to the age they desire autonomy from their parents. They strike out and seek to find a way to be different from their parents. Some parents have forgotten and try to exert more control. “You have to be in control,” another parent told me one time.

“Why?” Why should I think as a parent that I should control their bodies and minds and force them to see things through my eyes. When I say this, it doesn’t mean that I don’t recognize that their brains are still growing and forming. They still need guidance and limits. Sometimes it as simple as telling them their brains are still growing, but I must recognize they have their own way of thinking.

It’s kind of like coaching a soccer team that I did many years ago. When we were at practice that was the time to teach them how to play the game. When we played the games that was the time to rely on what they learned at practice – but as children, there was always more to learn. We adults have to know when to teach and when to shut up. Being a parent is not controlling – it is teaching and loving.

One of the things I heard was children not believing in themselves. “Oh, I can’t score. They would get mad at me.” “I’m afraid.” The thing that many coaches and parents alike don’t realize is that when you don’t believe in the abilities of the child, they know it. When you have little chats about this child or that child, they know it. They feel it. I heard another teen counselor making “poor ugly child” comments about a boy that was actually in her family at camp. She was in her mid-thirties and did not have children herself. Inside I was screaming, “Don’t you know that if you feel that way about him that he feels it!” It was an overheard conversation and not the time or place to try to tell her.

It is just that they know without knowing why they know. It is important as adults that we never, never say or think anything negative about a child, because they feel it if we do and it becomes their self-worth, self-esteem, and their core belief – all false ideas. If you don’t believe in yourself, ask yourself where does that idea come from? It is usually someone else’s idea and NOT the TRUTH.